FINAL SCHOOL BULLYING SOLUTION

Gary North, Ph.D.

If my child were being bullied in school, I would pull my child out of that school. Simple.

I would not let my child be the victim. I would pay for a homeschool curriculum like this one. For $500 a year, I would remove a source of misery from my child’s life.

When the child grew up, he would not ask me this: “Wasn’t it worth $500 a year to get me out of that mess? You knew I was hurting. Wasn’t I worth $500 a year?”

But if I were determined to keep my child in a school in which bullies are never expelled permanently, I would adopt this strategy.

I would adopt it because I understand bureaucracies.

SPINELESS ADMINISTRATORS

Here are the problems with bullying in school.

First, the administrators are spineless. They are caught on the horns of multiple dilemmas, and they will do almost anything to avoid making a decision. They don’t want lawsuits from parents who are outraged their hoodlum kids were expelled. They also don’t want lawsuits from parents whose children are the victims of these hoodlums. They want their budgets increased next year. They want to keep all bad news out of the newspapers. They want to have all their sports teams win. They want things happy, happy, happy. But the world of Phil Robertson is not available to school administrators.

Most of the efforts of school administrators are put into keeping the lid on, but above all, the public relations lid.

They want to avoid making decisions. They have been trained not to make decisions. They have been bureaucrats all of their lives. They went from public school bureaucracy as students through public school bureaucracy as teachers; now they are administrators.

Bureaucrats want to avoid responsibility. The goal of the bureaucrat, above all, is to get next year’s budget increased, but the second goal is to avoid a lawsuit. The rest of it doesn’t matter.

Maybe a parent goes to the school administrator, and tells this story of woe. The administrator has an obvious reaction: to promise to clear it up. Then he has the second reaction, which is simple enough to explain: to sweep it under the rug. Things get cleared up by being swept under the rug.

If the school administrator can delay a decision long enough, the kid will graduate, and the parents will go away. So, delay is the order of the day. Only when parents are adamant will they be listened to. But even then, they probably will not be listened to much.

Anyone who does not understand this is willfully blind. Any parent who does not understand this is living in a fantasy land, because the parents grew up in this system. It is just the way it was in Back to the Future. Biff runs the show. There’s a working relationship between him and the vice principal, because the vice principal is unwilling to expel Biff and his buddies — bad publicity — so Biff knows just how far to push. The vice principal knows just how far to go through the motions as if he were doing something to stop the problem.

Should we be surprised that children get bullied?

I would not let my child become a victim.

I would enlist him in a defensive program. It is defensive against the bully. It is offensive against school authorities.

The goal is to put more pressure on the principal than he is willing to bear. The pressure is imposed from below, meaning the parents, and from above, meaning the superintendent and possibly the school board.

Ultimately, the pressure is imposed by a lawyer.

This is why I would adopt the following strategy.

2. HOW TO CREATE A PAPER TRAIL

I would adopt the following program.

My first step would be to go to the school office and get a copy of the regulations relating to bullying. There is such a paper in the system. I would get a copy.

If I got stonewalled, I would say: “Do I have to call my lawyer?” The word “lawyer” is universally terrifying.

The goal is to get a photocopy of the rules on bullying.

If there is still no cooperation, I would go home and type a letter requesting a photocopy of the appropriate document. I would send it registered mail, return receipt requested.

If the principal stonewalls on this, which I do not expect, my next step is to write a certified letter to the local superintendent of schools. The letter will include a photocopy of the previous requests that I sent to the principal asking for the guidelines. I would request that the superintendent send me the appropriate papers. The letter is sent registered mail, return receipt requested.

I would send a photocopy of this letter to the principal.

The moment any bureaucrat receives a letter that is sent “return receipt requested,” he is put on alert that serious trouble has begun. He probably suspects that the parent is willing to escalate the confrontation to the point of calling a lawyer. The parent should be ready to do this. But I do not think it is going to be necessary.

Within two weeks, and probably less, I would be in possession of the guidelines regarding bullies.

Once I had this, I would call a lawyer. I would pay $100 for a half hour of his time. I would present him with the following strategy for his advice. I would take his advice on any modifications. He will be called in at the end if none of this works.

Here is my strategy.

I would show this set of official rules to the student. The kid may say: “In your dreams.” Or maybe not. Some kids don’t like to bring reality regarding school to the attention of their parents.

Then I would create a form for my child to carry to school, and then fill in immediately after a confrontation has been initiated by the bully.

It would be wise for the student to gain the support of a fellow student who has been bullied. That student is tired of it, too. The two students agree to back each other up, not physically, but judicially. They agree to sign each other’s forms.

The form would contain the following information:

The date
The time of the incident
The place of the incident
A description of the incident
The time the form is filled out and signed
If possible, a signature of a witness
The signature of the victim

When the bully confronts him, I would tell my child that he should make it clear to the bully that he resents this continuing harassment. That will not bother the bully. But it has put the bully on record that the student wants the behavior to stop.

If the bully asks for money, I would tell my child to pay. I would tell him to say this: “I am giving you this money only because you are threatening me with violence. Do you understand this?” Pray for this response: “That’s OK with me, as long as you give me the money.”

Can you spell “felony”?

After the incident is over, he walks into any room with a counter or desk, pulls out a pen, and fills in the form. It would help if he has a witness who is willing to sign the form. But this is not crucial.

The signed form is the key. A signed form, especially with a witness’s signature, becomes a powerful tool to use against the school’s administration. The bully does not have any comparable tool of defense.

Once the student has two documented cases, especially if they have been signed by a witness, the parent goes to a copy machine, and copies all of the signed forms.

I would then go to a computer, and type a letter to the principal. The letter would contain photocopies of the documents. It would also contain a photocopy of the district regulations regarding bullying. I would inform the principal of the infractions, and I would ask the principal to intercede, to make certain that the bully ceases to harass him. I would keep a photocopy of the letter to the principal.

I would mail this letter from the Post Office, by certified mail, return receipt requested.

Then I would wait.

The student continues to carry the forms. He continues to accumulate evidence if that is necessary.

He may be called into the principal’s office after the principal reads the letter. The principal may say this. “I want you to come to me about these incidents. Do not bother your parents.” The child should tell the principal to call his parents. Then he utters the magic words: “My folks will then check with their lawyer.”

Some student may begin to talk, and the bully may find out. The bully will be enraged. He may threaten my child. I would tell my child to admit nothing. He would then fill in another form. He must not confront the bully verbally.

When I had another set of forms, I would repeat the process: more mailings. This time, however, I would send a complete set of all of the forms to the superintendent of schools. I would include a letter saying that the principal so far has refused to intercede to stop the bully. I would ask the superintendent to investigate the situation, and to please do something to stop the bully.

Then, in a cover letter to the principal, I would include a complete set of photocopied papers and forms that I sent to the superintendent. I would include a copy of my letter to the superintendent.

The principal is now in big trouble. The word has gotten out to his superior that he is unable to take care of a growing crisis. The growing crisis is not that the bully is harassing other students. The growing crisis is that some parent has signed forms, and knows where to send them.

The superintendent understands that the principal is not taking care of the problem. From the superintendent’s point of view, the problem is that his files are beginning to fill up with what could be highly embarrassing forms. What if the local media should find out?

The media will find out. It’s news, isn’t it?

There may be an official inquiry. It would really be terrific if the principal gets demoted to teaching grade school across town, along with a 30% pay cut. That will send a message to every other principal in the district.

The story of how the parent and the student did this will get out. Hopefully, it will get into the national media. At that point, other victims across the country will imitate the procedure. There will be lots and lots of forms being filled out about bullies. There will be lots of principals around the country who see what is coming, and will take action before the thing escalates.

There is nothing that the principal can do to stop this, assuming the student has courage.

Here are words that terrify bureaucrats: “witnesses,” “signed complaints,” “official inquiry,” “media,” and “lawyer.” Get them working for you.

3. TWO-WEEK EXPULSION

The principal may expel the bully. The bully’s parents must now put him in a private school.

They are desperate. They will beg the principal to let the kid back in. The kid will promise to be good.

If the kid threatened my child again, I would start the process over. I would get another signed form.

Then I would confront the principal: “If that bully is on campus tomorrow, I will call my lawyer. My child needs protection.”

I would not bluff. If the bully is on campus, I would call my lawyer.

CONCLUSION

Here is the problem: the bully may seek off-campus revenge.

That is why I would not adopt this strategy. Instead, I would pull my child out and homeschool him.